Kat's Writings
Katheryn was an extraordinary writer, and especially accomplished in expressing philosophy of life and god in easily understandable form. The following writings were discovered in various journals of hers, online at a forum she visited for Siddha Yoga youth, and in letters she sent to her friends and family. |
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Excerpts from her Journal
A Goldfish State Of Mind
by Katheryn Werner
You have to get into that frame of mind, the psycho, wacky, childlike, simplistic state with big eyes and impressions.
I call it "The Goldfish state of mind."
That frame of mind when everything is.
A lot of things are funny. significant and insignificant are the same.
Everything is quaint, from my meanings to my words, to the symbols, to the motion and act of writing, to the black and white of the paper.
It's all boring and not boring.
The Goldfish.
Zoning out = zoning in.
The Goldfish.
Impressions. Things are not thought through but are still inherently understood, as if I'm learning it for the first time but it's something I'm also remembering. I already know it.
The Goldfish.
Big eyes, big ears, focusing on one thing but absorbing everything.
The Goldfish.
I flow, I feel, I do. And it's right. Even being wrong is right and being right is wrong.
The Goldfish.
Cuz a goldfish never has a bad day.
This happens when I'm high on information. So much info that I have to forget it to remember it. Feeling. Impressions. I move with and I understand and I am impressions.
The Goldfish.
I can recreate the world around me and that's how it will be.
Up becomes down, down, up or they lose direction completely.
The doorway is actually a wall that I'm walking through and everything else is just space.
SEE? I'M CRAZY, NUTSO, BUT SO MUCH MORE CLEARLY MUDDLED.
Pretty sure I'm awake.
I have invented a state of mind.
Actually, I've only named it. It's called the Goldfish,
Cuz a Goldfish never has a bad day.
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Things to do before we die:
1.) Pick up a hitch-hiking "jew"
2.) Go to movie theater in pajamas and slippers
3.) Go to Yankee Stadium and see game
4.) Go to Broadway
5.) Go to Atlantis
6.) Go on roadtrip
7.) Go to opera dressed up as a broadway diva
8.) Go to New Zealand and see LOTR (Lord of the Rings) SIGHTS
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There are certain portals, connections, that bring us closer to God, to that conciousness, that feeling of divinity. People are one. Death, knowledge, art, spirituality, spirituality, music. They are so inexplicable, so mysterious and pure, that they create feelings, connections, in which we feel safe, divine, like there is something bigger and greater than what we can see. Those pure connections bring us closer to God.
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Teach me how to love myself purely and completely, not selfishly. Teach me to turn that loving eye onto all I meet and see. Teach me how to live without jealousy or obsession. Once I'm okay with myself, I can stop this conceitedness and turn my gaze outward. Eliminate the muddlety (Ken's note: That's not a word, honey!).
I am asleep. Please, oh lord, please wake me up. Let me see your vast creation and learn to live in your glory. Play with me, Lord. Laugh with me, Lord. Love me, Lord. Love myself. Love shree. Love Katheryn.
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